August 22, 2010

30 DLC: Day 30- Your reflection in the mirror

August 22, 2010
Wow. My 30 DLC was supposed to end long ago, but I'm gonna do it now.

To the reflection in the mirror:
You are a strong and beautiful woman, but you need to stop putting yourself down and you need to learn to let things go. No one is perfect, not even you. Yeah life screws you over, and people do too, but that's not the end all, be all of life. Each day you need to wake up and thank God for being alive. Live for Him and cherish each moment you spend on this green earth.  You've been through a lot and the people closest to you know how strong you are, but you can show emotion too. It's okay to be visibly upset and pained and everything else you feel. You don't need to hide it or keep it inside. Know that there are tons of people willing to listen and trust that they are truly there for you and they don't have a hidden agenda. The people of *this county* are not the people you're gonna be around your whole life, so stop making a big deal of what's going on now. Look to the future and take the people and memories that you cherish from where you are now, to where you go in the future. Don't forget to thank your parents for giving you life and the will to be successful. Don't forget to thank your fellow Notre Dame scholars for showing you that not all African Americans are "hoodlums," "low-lifes," "thugs." We're going places that African Americans have never gone before and don't you ever forget that. Don't forget to keep in touch with the people who always check in on you and make sure you're doing okay, even when you feel like shutting out the world. Don't forget to say "thank you" or smile at strangers, because it may have just made their day or saved their life. Stop judging people before you get to know them and pray that others will stop judging you before they know you. As a human race, we have a lot to offer each other and we can't do that with all of the hate in the world. You need to be the change you want to see in the world. I love you and I promise that I will never do anything to hurt you again. I promise that as long as I shall live, I will respect myself and learn to respect those around me. I promise to love you before I learn to love anyone else. Never forget who you are: a beautiful, strong, determined, and respectful woman.

"I made a promise to myself: I would always remember my parents’ wishes, but I would never forget myself." -The Joy Luck Club

 I Promise Myself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.
To make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of
others as I am about my own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the
greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile
to every living creature I meet.
To give so much time to improving myself that I
have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry; too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words, but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side,
so long as Iam true to the best that is in me.

Christian D. Larson

August 7, 2010

Fresh Beginnings

August 7, 2010
I haven't written much about my life since I've done these letters. There really isn't too much new with me, but I have begun to try and find direction in my life...

College applications and scholarships are all looming. With senior year [SENIORS] already here and already going by quickly, I know I need to get a move on.

I went to Notre Dame a few weeks ago and it really changed my life. As one of forty students chosen in the nation to participate in the Seminar for African American Scholars, I got a chance to experience all the ND has to offer and was given priority with my college application. Here, I got to listen to lectures from renowned lecturers, sit in on college classes, party with fellow students (hey Rayven and Iheanyi!), go to Chicago, go to a baseball game, learn about myself, sleep in dorms, build some of the most amazing bonds with 43 other people, all in just a week. I was also reintroduced to the Church, though it wasn't forced down my throat, and that made me want to try and find my faith again. I have come to the conclusion that I am not a practicing Catholic and am probably Agnostic. I met people who have changed my life in more ways than I can imagine or even list, and they've opened my eyes to what is in store for my future.

Since then and since I've been reconsidering what I'm going to do regarding graduation, I've done a lot of "cleansing." Maybe it's more like purging. I'm getting rid of people who don't enhance me, don't challenge my mind, don't encourage me and don't support me. The people who bring me down aren't needed and I don't feel that they don't need an explanation as to why I don't want to associate with them anymore; just a "goodbye, I wish the very best for you in all that you choose to do in the future. God bless."

30 DLC: Day 28- Someone that changed your life

To someone that changed my life:

Though you're no longer on this earth, I know you continue to watch over me each day and guide me. I love you and I wish I could have spent more time with you before you left me. You have so many stories that I never got to hear you tell and I feel like you passed before I could appreciate how much you could offer as my grandpa. 
I love you.

Please continue to keep me on track.

You & Grandma's Little Angel

30 DLC: Day 27-The friendliest person you knew for only one day

To the friendliest person I knew for only one day:
I can't think...
If I remember, I'll edit this.


EDIT (06/12/2013):
Mama Cat! 
This beautiful lady offered me a job after knowing me for only 15 minutes. I met her a while ago at the college I'm taking my summer class at and she was such a sweetheart. She made me laugh so much and asked if I'd like to work in the student life office! Unfortunately, I'm only at this school until August before I go to nursing school, so I couldn't take her up on her offer.

Sweet, sweet lady. 

30 DLC: Day 25- The person you know that is going through the worst of times

To the person I know that is going through the worst of times:
Hey babygirl. I know things are really rough and I know there's nothing I can say to ease the pain you and your family are going through, but I want you to know that I'm here for you no matter what. I've known you and your family since you moved to Georgia nearly 15 years ago. You and I used to be best friends, and as we grew older we grew apart; however, we still speak and catch up occasionally, which makes me happy. I was a frequent guest in your house and your family always welcomed me as if I lived there. Your brother used to chase you, me, and Tyler around and we'd all lock ourselves in the closet. We spent hours playing with his Connex (sp?). It's heartbreaking to know that someone so close to me- and even closer to you- has passed, but you know he is with God now. He's watching over us and guiding us through each day, and I pray for you and your family whenever I can. I love you guys and I know you all are strong. If you need me, for WHATEVER reason, I'm here to listen. 

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